Today at Iten's Acres: A Plan July 12, 2014

After much agonizing, totally selfless, soul searching and deep contemplation, I have decided--the vote was unanimous--that we should just pretend to start school in the middle of August. I mean, some of us are busy with our families. Some of us still need to take a vacation. Some of us are busy doing nothing. Some of us have tons more reading we need--really, really, really want--to do. Some of us have more flowers to watch bloom. Mid-September is fine, isn't it? I'll come in one day a week and use a bunch of fobs at the necessary times, turn on the lights, walk back and forth across the street (slowly in order to irritate the drivers as required), even put fictitious stuff on Renweb. The Ohio Department of Education will never catch on. The kids can still do the fall sports stuff--it would greatly aide the coverup in fact. And coaches, think of it. No school work to interfere with practice. Nice, eh? (I know, some of us are losing touch with reality and dressing up like cows and stuff, but the extra days may help recovery.) What do you say? Anyone else want to volunteer to fake a day a week? I'll give you a case of Pepsi? Cold! A dozen donuts, too, if it will help persuade. Huh? Huh? Come on now . . . you were thinking it too.