Homesteader Update: Petting Strategies March 30. 2017

Day Seven: Catonese manual on ensuring that the human pets you at the times required in the Universal Manifesto.
1. When human stretches out in the recliner to gaze at the coming thunderstorm, jump into his lap, stretch full length, and watch with him glancing back on occasion to be sure he understands that it's time to pet you.
2. When human is in said recliner and reading the paper or a book, jump up on either arm, stare so he knows to listen, explain to him his obligations, stick nose under paper or book until it is lifted, plop in the lap, move around a bit as if getting comfortable, do so until the paper is completely abandoned, then lie on his chest. He will only have one option. And when ready, be sure to be the one that initiates the leaving of the lap. Jump down, smirk, say a word or two in Catonese, and stroll away--slowly, tail raised high.
3. When human is heading up the stairs, sit right in the middle so he can't get by without petting you. Then, sprint to the top of the stairs and repeat the blockade. This strategy works well when human comes in from outside as well. Sit right in the middle of the doorway. A neat trick is to stand up on your back legs so he can pet you. He'll think it's cute and you'll get your exercise.
4. At night when he tries to escape his responsibility by climbing in bed and turning out the lights, start at one end of the house and meow all the way to the foot of the bed. Leap up and stick your nose right in his face. Petting will be mandatory. If he tries to assert his independence and roll over. Plop down noisily, meow under the bed as you saunter to the other side, hop up again, face to face. On occasion apply this tactic in the middle of the night just so he understands that his sleep is not nearly as important as your spoiling.
5. If worse comes to worse, say, he walks in the house with his hands full. flop on the floor, put your paw on your forehead, and pet yourself. Marvelous guilt trip for the old geezer.

Got it?

 Paws together now:  One, Two, Three---WE ARE    THE CAT'S     MEOW

Rule the world!!!

Homesteader