Hey Humans,
Homesteader here. I'm accepting applications for a new
cave mate. The chubby old bald human has been a disaster. First, a
couple of weeks ago, he lets a host of strange old men into the house.
They made more noise than a herd of caterwauling felines. Pounding,
sawing, scraping--ugh. I had to spend a couple days hiding in the very
back of the closet coming out only at night to give the old man a piece
of my mind. And even then I had to be cautious--some big old
lug was sleeping on my sofa. MY sofa. Was any of that approved by me?
Of course not. Okay. The cave looks marvelous--so I forgave him that
fiasco. But . . .
Next, he just takes off for almost a week. Sure,
he left plenty of food and water and the windows open so I could spy on
The Acres. But to just go away and give me no warning? Pagan human.
Okay, he did stuff a bunch of clothes in that case thing which usually
means he's taking off somewhere, but still--ask permission baldy. And
he failed to make provisions for my entertainment--no bird food for my
feathered friends. No food for the cat posse. What's a girl supposed
to do for entertainment? Keep running and spinning around on the new
blue office chair? (Okay, okay, that's a blast--but you can't do it for
a whole week.)
Anyway, he's back. The little red wagon must have
been a trooper--as if he deserves it. Meow. Meow. Meow. What an
inconsiderate bore he's been lately. I understand that he had a
marvelous time visiting the Ziff clan--baseball, gardens, art gallery,
PAMPERING. What about ME? I'm the one that deserves pampering, not
that good for nothing human. Good thing they left the e off of that as
it relates to him. Anyway, send resumes with cat references--I need a
dependable roomie. Next time, I'm going to visit the Ziff clan, and he
can stay here.
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